Hi Devin,
Love the first attempt and love the vocals. Love the guitar segment and lick, wish there would have been a lot more of the guitar.
My daughter in law does cover videos on youtube as well as 1000's of other people. One thing about video, it can be interesting or it can be boring. Switching shots is very important, even if it is just a different angle. A little creative decorating in the studio would help also, give the viewer something to hold their attention. Just showing one angle of someone singing in a studio is, sorry, boring. Live performances are much easier to shoot, lots going on so plenty to keep the viewer interested. Studio shoots are extremely difficult in that respect unless there are a lot of musicians and cameras.
Not sure what the girl in the bikini had to do with anything, seems really out of place. The shot of the guitarist and vocalist should be at the end only, doesn't really fit anywhere else.
Add some additional footage and shoot the recording multiple times from various angles. Even shots of the vocalist walking in the woods, down a road or railroad track, something to keep the viewer interested in the video.
This is a really great start, keep learning and adding new types of footage. Best thing you can do is check out professional music videos online for ideas on how you can improve.
Thanks for posting, overall it was a really great first music video
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